


Almost

by justK



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Everyone is gay because why not, M/M, lots of feels, painful in-between, this is sorta exasperating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-13 16:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17491625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: "What did you like about me?""Your eyes," he looked at him. "Always, your eyes made me nervous."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native English speaker, so I may have mistakes and I'm sorry if that happens.   
> This is the first fic I write about SuJu, I'm excited and scared this might go wrong, but I'm doing my best. I wanted to write it with an original female character, but then I thought to mess up with those who love this ships, I know I'm mean haha.  
> Anyways this is based in a real situation, something lots of people go through and that I think is very interesting to psychoanalyse.  
> I hope you enjoy this :)

He had always hated that the classrooms had so many windows and so big, as if they were designed so that everyone could see them, like cages in a zoo or a fish tank, anyone who walked by could see them and that could sometimes become tedious. However, that day, Hyukjae was grateful in a way that those windows were there.

  
The activity of the class was to do a little research and a report on the history of music, something that did not thrill Hyukjae so much, it was true that he was not bad at music, but it was not something that moved him too much, dancing was his thing.

  
When Siwon finished using a book, he approached to read whatever was written on the pages pretending to be interested, the truth was he had not been paying attention to what they were doing, he was just writing down everything his teammates told him. He put aside the book then, leaned his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand, bored, only analysing the corridors through the windows. There was nothing unusual in the front office, the secretaries working continuously and the directors in their bored cubicles as usual. In the hall there was only an occasional student or teacher. Nothing out of the ordinary, indeed. But then something caught his attention. A boy, who was sure to have seen somewhere in the big school before but never for more than two seconds. This time it was different, because he looked at him and examined him, he did not know why that stranger caught his attention more than any other person had done in recent years, he perceived a strange personality in that man, not a mean one of course, but withdrawn and that was so damn attractive that he could not let it go. He hugged a girl by the shoulders with a muffled smile, while the latter remained impartial before the gesture and spoke with a third person. If she was his girlfriend, she definitely did not treat him with affection and he did not feel comfortable, that's for sure.

  
“Hyukjae!” He heard that Heechul yelled at him.

  
“What?” He replied with a frown.

  
“Pay attentiooon,” he said laughing. “You can fantasize about whoever you've been looking at through the window later, for now write down.”

  
Hyukjae nodded, forgetting the person who he had been looking at through that window and returning to the note that lay on the desk in front of him.

  
“I don't think we're going to finish," he said once he had finished copying a phrase from the book he had previously seen as if it was the most exciting thing in the world. “Send me the information and I'll bring it for tomorrow.”

  
“We have to do everything we can-” Siwon said before being interrupted by the bell.

  
“Send me the information,” Hyukjae repeated, mocking.

  
Siwon rolled his eyes but smiled, starting to store his things like Hyukjae and Heechul. The latter ran out of the room, his friends did not even bother to know why, surely there was someone outside waiting for him, being Heechul, half school expected to see him, everyone loved him.

  
“Where will you go?” Siwon asked.

  
“Home, today I will walk,” Hyukjae replied.

  
“Will not you stay for some other activity?”

  
“Not today,” he shrugged and patted his friend on the shoulder. “Good luck with the project.”

  
Just like that he retired and walked to the exit, many students were already there ready to go and rest. He stopped momentarily, quickly scanning the surroundings in search of the boy he had seen through the window. But he didn't see him. A little disappointed, he turned around and started the walk back to his house.

  
After twenty minutes of walking eternal streets, he finally arrived at his house ready to go directly to his room and sleep.

  
“Just in time,” he heard his mother say as he closed the door. “The food is ready.”

  
“Do not give me so much, I'm not very hungry today, mom.” He dropped the backpack in an armchair and approached the bar where he used to eat.

  
“Tired?” His mom asked leaving the kimchi dish in front of him.

  
“Enough,” he confessed as he ate his first bite. “It was a very long and tired dance session today.”

  
“But it's what you like.”

  
“That I like it does not mean I do not get tired, mom,” he quickly ate more than half of the portion served. “I must find someone to be my singing tutor, I know I'm not the best.”

  
“Did they tell you that you need a tutor?”

  
“Not really. The teacher just says that a couple of extra classes would be enough, but I know I need it and that way I would feel much more comfortable.”

  
“Well, if it's what you want, you'll surely find one very soon, there are many guys who sing very well.”

  
“Tomorrow I'll start asking,” he gave the last spoonful of food and handed the plate to his mother. “Thank you, it was very delicious.”

  
He got up again taking the backpack he had left in the living room and ran up the stairs. He had some things to practice actually, his vocal range mainly, but he didn't want to do it until he found someone who could help him. The problem was that he didn't know who to ask for help, surely there were many guys in his generation who sang great, but he did not know who these people were, he would have to ask his teacher the next class.

  
And so he did. A couple of days later, in his next singing lesson, at the end of the class, he approached his teacher when all the other students had already left the classroom.

  
“Uhm... Professor,” he spoke. “I wanted to ask you something.”

  
“Ask, then.”

  
“Who are your best students?”

  
“Why do you ask that?” The professor stopped ordering his things to look at him.

  
“I would like to ask someone to be my tutor, you know that this is not as easy for me as dancing.”

  
“I don't think it's necessary, Hyukjae,” he frowned and the aforementioned man shifted, trying to explain his reasons. “You just need more practice.”

  
“It's just that, that way I would feel much more confident.”

  
“Why don't you ask Solji for help?”

  
Solji was the best of his class, he knew it, she had an angelic voice and the ability to reach the highest notes without failing, but he didn't want it to be her, even though they got along very well, he would feel uncomfortable.

  
“I would like it to be someone with whom I do not get along so well, so they will not feel obligated to tell me that everything is going well even if something goes wrong. Will there be anyone else in any other class?” Hyukjae insisted, smiling forcefully.

  
“Mmm, well,” the professor began, “there are a couple of students who are great. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook.”

  
Hyukjae twisted his mouth, he knew them both, they were very close friends of Siwon and also his, although not as close as Siwon.

  
“Very well, I'll ask.”

  
He was about to leave the desk to leave the room when the teacher stopped him.

  
“Oh, there's someone else,” he said. “He's new, he entered this year, his name is Jongwoon.”

  
Hyukjae nodded and thanked before leaving.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_Jongwoon_.

  
He didn't know why but that name sounded delicious in his mind, as if he unconsciously knew to whom it belonged, although in truth he could not see any acquaintance with that name. He probably would have heard it in the hallways or in some other class.

  
He arrived at the cafeteria where all his friends were already waiting for him and without further ado he took a seat between Jungsoo and Kyuhyun, letting himself fall heavily.

  
“What's wrong with you?” Heechul asked showing a funny smile.

  
“I have to find a singing tutor,” he confessed.

  
“We can help you!” Ryeowook shouted excitedly grabbing Kyuhyun by the hand and lifting it up. Hyukjae smiled.

  
“Do not be offended guys, but I would prefer someone I don't get along with so that he may say things as they are.”

  
“Oh...” Ryeowook lowered his head.

  
“I would,” Kyuhyun commented casually, not paying too much attention.

  
“Yes, it's clear to me that you do,” laughed Hyukjae, after all Kyuhyun was evil, they had not nicknamed him 'evil maknae' for nothing. The latter shrugged, innocent.

  
“You miss it.”

  
Hyukjae nodded lost, he even would miss it. Even with his mind flying somewhere in the vastness of the planet, he leaned to see what Leeteuk ate and as usual stole a little.

  
“I thought keeping your mind busy was going to keep you from taking my food away from me,” Jungsoo could not finish saying his sentence when Hyukjae had already opened his mouth silently asking for a bite. He gave him some after rolling his eyes.

  
“What can I say? You are my favorite hyung.”

  
“Hey!” Heechul exclaimed. “From this moment you lose all your privileges with me.”

  
Everyone laughed at the drama that would have started to develop if Ryeowook had not interrupted.

  
“I wanted to see if we can go out on Friday, for my birthday,” he said tenderly, as only he can.

  
“Of course, that's not even a question,” Siwon said giving him a smile. It was true that Siwon liked to take care of others.

  
“Count me in,” everyone answered almost in unison.

  
“Cool!”

  
_Jongwoon._

  
That name floated back into his mind after briefly forgetting it.

  
“Does any of you know who Jongwoon is?” He asked suddenly.

  
“Yes,” Kyuhyun said. “He's in our class,” referring to the one he and Ryeowook attended.

  
“Why do you ask?”

  
“Oh, the teacher told me he was great vocal, I thought I'd see the option of asking him for help.”

  
“He sings great,” agreed the eternal maknae.

  
“Good.”

  
_Excellent._

  
***

  
As fast as Ryeowook mentioned the invitation to go out, Friday arrived and Hyukjae was leaving his house after hearing a car outside, a sign that Jungsoo had arrived for him.

  
“Do not mess anything up,” was what greeted him once he had been inside the car. “Don't touch anything, don't move anything, actually, don't breathe.”

  
“Don't exaggerate, hyung,” he rolled his eyes, laughing.

  
“Have you had any luck with your singing lessons?” He asked, getting going.

  
“I haven't asked, actually," he replied, focused on finding a good song on the radio. “I'm too lazy for it, to tell the truth, besides I do not know who this Jongwoon is.”

  
“And if you do not investigate, less.”

  
“I will do it on Monday,” he said as if he promised Jungsoo, but it was more a promise to himself.

  
“Careful when-” Jungsoo could not finish the sentence when Hyukjae had already hit the door closed, “-you close the door...”

  
“Ups,” he covered his mouth innocently. “Sorry, hyung.”

  
“I keep a track of every bad thing you do, huh, Jae,” he cautioned, squinting, but by then Hyukjae knew him well enough to know he was not being serious. It was true that Jungsoo was extremely orderly and perfectionist, but just as Hyukjae had learned to live with his constant reproaches, Jungsoo had learned to live with the disaster that was Hyukjae not only in doing things, but in his life. Neither of them imagined themselves without the friendship of the other.

  
Both went to the restaurant to which they had decided to go to dinner by unanimous vote. Apparently the rest of the boys were already there because when he put the first foot in the place he was received by a wave of laughter that certainly belonged to his group of friends.

  
“Hey, Jae!” Heechul received him standing up to embrace him by the shoulders, he could perceive then the slight smell of soju emanating from him.

  
“Are you drinking already?” The younger inquired returning the hug.

  
“That's what we came for, right?” He looked confused. “To have fun!”

  
Hyukjae turned to see Ryeowook, who just shrugged it off.

  
“That colour looks good on you,” Siwon complimented, noticing the blonde in his hair. “Closing cycles?”

  
Hyukjae let out a laugh.

  
“Only my liking for changing my look.”

  
“That's a true fashionista,” Jungsoo scoffed.

  
“I have more fashion sense than you all will ever have together.”

  
“Keep dreaming,” Kyuhyun said giving the soju a drink.

  
“Can we order?” Heechul asked and everyone turned to look. “Or are we waiting for someone?”

  
“As a matter of fact, yes, we are,” Ryeowook replied. “Jongwoon is coming.”

  
Hyukjae dropped the menu dry on the table. That name had caused a lingering effect on him since the first time he had heard it and he didn't know why, he could not even put a face to it. Fortunately, nobody noticed his reaction.

  
“I'll just wait 5 more minutes,” Heechul said.

  
“Come on, don't be rude,” Jungsoo said. “You don't know the boy.”

  
“That does not matter, punctuality is primordial.”

  
Kyuhyun simply shook his head at the last when Hyukjae saw him staring at something behind him and then greeting animatedly.

  
“Hey, Jongwoon!” He exclaimed, standing up to greet him properly.

  
“Hi Kyu,” replied the man who answered to the name that had made an impression on Hyukjae.

  
His voice was serious, not so much as to seem out of the ordinary, it was rather profound. Hyukjae stirred after feeling a current running through him.

  
“Hello everyone,” the newcomer continued. “Sorry for the delay, I'm new to the city and I didn't know the restaurant.”

  
“It's okay, don't worry,” Siwon was the next to welcome him.

  
Then Hyukjae gathered enough courage to turn around.

  
There was a guy, with pale skin, a heart-shaped face, somewhat angular in the chin, rather thin complexion, black hair combed in a carefree way, combining perfectly with the accessories he wore, and eyes with a tired, serious and mysterious gaze, as if everything around was unimportant, however one could distinguish a hint of emotions in that pair of sad looking orbs.

  
It was the guy he had seen through the window.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Now that he knew who Jongwoon was, he not only needed to ask for help in singing, but wanted to ask for help desperately. He still did not know why this stranger called his attention so much and why, without really knowing who he was, he felt that hunch that assured him otherwise, in the end it had been so. Now that he thought about it better, that man had caught his attention from before he had seen him through the window of the music history room, because Hyukjae was not at all a very visual person, despite having the ability to memorize a dance watching the steps only once, he was not able to recognise many faces only seeing them once for brief seconds; but he had memorised the face of that Jongwoon after having seen it by chance once among all the students of the huge school, to such an extent that when he looked at him again through the window he already knew that he existed and that he had noticed it before.

  
“Hey, there's Jongwoon,” he heard Heechul say, making him come back to reality after being lost in his thoughts for who knows how long.

  
“Should I ask for help now?” Hyukjae questioned himself realising that he had done it out loud.

  
“Yes, duh,” Heechul replied to his thought. “You should.”

“Now?” The older one just gave him a reproachful look with his mouth pursed, giving him to understand that he was wasting time and that he should already be on his feet approaching his next singing tutor. “Sure.”

Hyukjae stood up and ran across the courtyard trying to intercept the black haired man's step and he would have done it decently if his agile feet had failed him right then, causing him to stumble in front of him. Fortunately, he did not fall flat on the floor because he managed to compose himself.

“Jongwoon!” He exclaimed his name and turned to see him, finding a confused expression on that handsome face.

  
“Yes?”

  
“Mmm... They told me you're very good at singing,” he began to say, patting himself mentally because he knew it had not been the best way to address him, but what was done was done.

  
”Yes...” he urged him to continue, not as if he didn't want to talk to him or as if he wanted to get rid of him, rather it seemed that he was in a hurry and Hyukjae understood, the break was over, so he hurried to speak.

  
“I wanted to see if you would agree to help me, just a little.” Finally he was able to finish the sentence and congratulated himself inside.

  
The raven haired man watched him for a brief second, that had it not been for Hyukjae looking at him so closely, it could have gone unnoticed.

  
“Sure,” he finally replied, as enigmatic as he had first felt him.

  
“Thank you.”

  
Hyukjae smiled and moved away to let him go free, receiving only a grimace from him, wondering if he should feel bad for that gesture or good for the same reason.

  
“What a pity you give me,” he heard Heechul behind him. “You just make me feel embarrassed.”

  
“I stumbled, hyung, don't be rude,” he replied smiling. “You love me.”

  
“Mmm I don't think so, since you love Jungsoo more, you don't deserve my love.” And with that last and an air of diva, Heechul withdrew leaving Hyukjae laughing to himself.

***

_I should have asked for it when I had the opportunity, or to have looked for it later._ Hyukjae thought sitting at his desk berating himself for not having set a date for his class or at least for not having asked for his number to contact him and set a date. Then, his computer made a noise indicating a new message from Heechul.

  
_Of course!_

  
He quickly searched for Jongwoon's name by thanking heaven or any divine and superior force that after dinner for Ryeowook's birthday had made them friends online. Once he had found it he clicked to send a message. He quickly decided not to think much about what to write to him, just as he had not thought to approach him at school, despite having almost fallen in front of him, he told himself, it had not been so bad. He would continue with that technique.

  
“Hi, sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to see if we could set a date to start.”

  
And without further he sent the message.

  
It did not take long for the letters that previously indicated that he was disconnected, changed to online. Hyukjae waited then, more anxious than he would admit to himself, the answer.

  
“Sure. I'll give you my number, it's easier for me to answer like that,” it then followed a row of numbers that left Hyukjae gaping at the screen without really knowing how to react, he finally forced himself to do it when another message arrived. “The lada is from Cheonan, that's why it's different.”

  
“Excellent thanks.”

  
_Perfect_. It seemed that things started to work out well for him after a long time, it had been years that things did not work in his favour in almost any sense.

  
He quickly picked up his phone and added the contact to later send a message to the same number with the content: “I'm Hyukjae, hello again.”

  
He wish he did the school work as fast as he had added and sent the message to Jongwoon, he was sure that if he did so many would thank him, he would have all his things done in a blink of an eye.

  
“Hello. So, when would you like?”

  
_Mmm, good question_. He thought. In fact he had not begun to reason in that detail, all he had thought was to get in touch with him as soon as possible still ignoring why his actions.

  
“Can you tomorrow?” Okay, maybe that had sounded very desperate. “I'd like to start as soon as possible.”

  
A few seconds passed before receiving an answer.

  
“I could only during break, do you agree?” Hyukjae pursed his lips. _Well, worse is nothing._ Then, Jongwoon excused himself. “I have a project to finish, sorry.”

  
He forced himself to respond: “It's perfect, then we can continue another day.”

  
“Yes, from Thursday I can help you better.”

  
Well, it was Monday, waiting a couple of days would not hurt.

  
“Don't worry, do what you have to do, I'm the one who is bothering you anyway.“

  
“Oh no, not at all. I will gladly help you.” Hyukjae smiled. “Do you need a lot of help, anyway?”

  
“Oh yes,” he admitted with a bit of humor to lighten his conversation. “This is not easy for me, tomorrow you'll see for yourself.”

  
“Hahaha okay. See you tomorrow then.”

  
He decided not to respond.

  
Once he had rested after having been thinking a lot about the Jongwoon topic, he realised that his computer was overflowing with messages.

  
_Oh._ He had forgotten Heechul.

 


	4. Chapter 4

“You!” Hyukjae turned his head to find a Heechul walking towards him. “You're the worst friend in the world!” And with that he pushed him slightly, causing Hyukjae to take a step back.

  
“Calm down,” he replied calmly. “I already asked for your forgiveness yesterday, I was busy, I was not ignoring you.”

  
“It doesn't matter, you're a bad friend,” Heechul went on doing drama.

  
“Stop, shh,” he gave him a playful kiss on the cheek. “Calm, Heenim.”

  
“This doesn't fix everything,” Heechul said, squinting but relaxing.

  
“I'll give you food.”

  
“Done!” He jumped to land with a kiss on Hyukjae's cheek, returning the gesture the latter had given him.

  
“And I'll go to the trip.”

  
“Excellent!” Heechul held him in his arms, after all it was an dream not only of them both, but of all the guys, to attend the trip organised by the college to visit a pair of legendary theaters in which recognised artists would be presenting only for them.

  
Hyukjae laughed briefly when he saw the black haired among the people. He released himself from Heechul immediately remembering that he had to meet him for his first lesson.

  
“I have to go!” He exclaimed, starting to hurry away as the rest of the boys came to join them. Siwon looked at him confused, he didn't remember that Hyukjae had something to do.

  
“Where are you going?” Siwon asked before he walked away completely.

  
“I have things to do!” He exclaimed loudly and disappeared among the people following Jongwoon's trail.

  
He reached the end of the corridor, where there were almost no people and saw him turning around as if he was lost. He approached then slower towards him.

  
“Who are you looking for?” Hyukjae inquired calmly, although inside he felt his heart beat a thousand per hour to the point that he felt it would come out of his chest, not only because he had run a little, but because of the presence of the black haired and this time Hyukjae knew it was because of _him_ , what he didn't know was why exactly.

  
“Oh!” He exclaimed, turning to see him. “For you.”

  
“Forgive me,” he hastened to apologise. “I should have told you where to meet.”

  
“Don't worry,” Jongwoon looked at him straight in the eyes for the first time. Directly. Not like the day before seeing him without not really doing it, no. This time he made sure to _observe_ him. Hyukjae stirred a little feeling the strength of that gaze that saw him as if he could read what his eyes said, as if he could go deep into his soul and know all its secrets. That's how Jongwoon's gaze felt once he observed you well. “The good thing is that I found you and we still have forty minutes to take advantage of.”

  
Hyukjae felt unable to respond with words and just nodded, with lips parted, breathless.

  
“Mmm...” he murmured. “Can we go to the music room? I know it's open.”

  
“Sure,” Hyukjae managed to articulate.

  
“What would you like to practice?” Jongwoon asked as they entered the empty classroom except for all the instruments and materials for daily use for the students.

  
“Everything really,” he admitted. “I know how to rap and I've tried to sing, but it's not something I'm so good at naturally.”

  
“What do you like?” That question left the vocalist's lips as he sat down without taking his eyes off him.

  
“Dancing...”

  
“Sure, I should have guessed,” he released a barely audible laugh that Hyukjae could hear as he was close enough in the nearest chair.

  
“Why?”

  
“Your personality,” he simply said. “You have that presence that only dancers can possess.”

  
Hyukjae didn't know whether to feel flattered or, on the contrary, insulted at being generalised. He didn't know exactly what he was referring to, so it was difficult for him to react to that.

  
“Uhm... Thanks?” He muttered hesitantly.

  
“Do not take it the wrong way,” Jongwoon apologised looking slightly nervous. “It's great, believe me.”

  
Hyukjae smiled. “I will."

  
He felt something stir inside him when Jongwoon smiled at him. Not like the grimace he had given him before, but actually _smiled_ , as if he had tried to respond to the smile Hyukjae had shown seconds before. After a few moments of silence, Jongwoon cleared his throat.

  
“Well, imagine the sensation that dancing causes you, that sensation that I know you should know very well and to which you are addicted, which makes you continue to dance and give everything in each practice or presentation,” he paused momentarily, waiting for a signal, at this Hyukjae nodded, as if telling him to go on. “Project that satisfaction in your singing. Imagine that once you feel comfortable with your voice, you will be loved by many people, just as you are when you dance. Would not that be great? Would not you like it? Isn't it part of an artist?”

  
“But how will I do that?” Hyukjae asked making a slight pout that did not go unnoticed.

  
“Establishing a goal. Wishing to achieve it. Do you like music?”

  
“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.

  
“So you like to sing, you just won't admit it. Find that taste for music and exploit it, just as you feel the music when you dance, feel it when you sing.” Hyukjae nodded again. “Transform the language of dancing into words, into your voice. This is how you start.”

  
Hyukjae remained silent for a few seconds, ingesting what that beautiful man had told him, affirming in his mind his initial thought: this man was a mystery. And not because he had many secrets, but because his personality and way of thinking seemed different, or so Hyukjae could perceive. He found the answer to why Jongwoon called his attention so much; as a person, he was different, he was beautiful. And that was what Hyukjae liked. The different, the real.

  
“Do you have anything to practice?” The raven haired man's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

  
“What?” He tried to compose himself. “Oh, yeah,” he rummaged through the things in his backpack and pulled out a couple of sheets. “This.”

  
“Oh, it's not so bad,” he commented once he had glanced at it. “You must first learn to breathe correctly.”

  
“I've always had problems with that.”

  
“And that's probably why you feel that your voice is not enough. Sing a little for me.”

  
Hyukjae opened his eyes how big they were scared and nervous, at no time had he thought about singing in front of him and how he would feel, but definitely nervous, was little.

  
“Mmm...” he stirred. “Okay.”

  
_«So, so you think you can tell_  
_Heaven from Hell_  
_Blue skies from pain_  
_Can you tell a green field_  
_From a cold steel rail?_  
_A smile from a veil?_  
_Do you think you can tell?»_

  
Hyukjae didn't dare to look in Jongwoon's direction, he was afraid of what he would have thought or what he would say about it, but all doubt dissipated when Jongwoon spoke.

  
“It was very good,” he flattered a little emotionless, but he could hear sincerity in his voice. “You sing well, I don't think you need my help at all.”

  
“I'm not comfortable, I feel like I'm not as good as everyone else.”

  
“Probably while others can afford to give less than one hundred percent of their capacity, you have to give strictly one hundred percent without loosening, but that does not mean you do it badly,” Jongwoon searched for his eyes and Hyukjae didn't have a choice but to hold that intense gaze, no matter how nervous it could make him feel. “I think you do it well. But if you want to improve, I will help you. Look, there is a very easy exercise that you are not taught here, clearly. Lie on the floor with a book on your chest and breathe normally, what you should do is try to identify everything that is involved in the breathing process and once you have identified it, compare it with the abdominal breathing that is the ideal for singing, you know?” He made a proper breath to show him. “Remember constant pressure and open ribs, without lifting the shoulders or puffing up the lungs.”

  
“Very well,” he analysed, seeing what he did wrong most of the time.

  
“This is how you should start, you alone at home,” he returned the sheets. “On Thursday we can start practicing your song.”

  
“Do you have time after school?” Hyukjae stood up followed by Jongwoon to leave the classroom.

  
“Yes, we can meet right here.”

  
“Great,” he smiled, thinking maybe he should pay him a little. “Thank you very much for the help today, how much do I owe you?”

  
“Oh it's nothing, I want to help.”

  
But Hyukjae felt a wave of confidence rush through him at that moment as he had felt when approaching to ask for help and send a message, and without thinking, he put a couple of bills in the front pocket of Jongwoon's pants, leaving him surprised.

  
“Thank you!” He exclaimed walking away, beginning to feel embarrassed.

  
_What's wrong with you, Hyukjae?_

 


	5. Chapter 5

Emotions swirled in his stomach at the compass of his movements, creating a burst of colour inside him, something that made it impossible to know exactly what he felt, he could only say that he felt _amazing_. He performed the steps thinking of nothing else, but only what he was doing at that moment, as if his mind blocked any other thought and refused to leave behind that state to which he was so _addicted_. His body manifested it accumulating a hardly noticeable fatigue in his extremities and issuing a light layer of sweat in his face, neck and torso, which were not completely due to physical activity, also to the nerves that he usually felt. But all this was what made him feel _alive_. And if he had to choose a sensation to describe what he felt whenever he saw Jongwoon, talked to him or just dared to get him into his mind, as brief as it was, he would choose that: his experience when dancing.

  
After a couple of weeks of exhaustive activities because of the approaching exam period, between classes, practices, social life, singing counseling and an endless dilemma in his mind that he could not forget for more than half a morning, and only if he had the fortune of not crossing paths with the black haired man, because that only dragged back into the labyrinth of thoughts that he himself had built gradually during the last days.

  
But finally he could come to a conclusion: _he wanted to meet that precious human being_. As strange, sudden and daring as it seemed. He liked what he felt involuntarily, he liked that, as in the dance, _he could feel alive_ ; because he had already spent too much time without really something interesting going on in his life, without feeling anything for anyone, without doing anything extraordinary, as if he had been lifeless for years.

  
"Stop it, Wookie," the blond asked laughing. Ryeowook had been too clingy that day with everyone, especially with Kyuhyun, but now it was Hyukjae's turn and it didn't bother him at all, it was just that Ryeowook had spent too much time already messing with his cheeks without letting him eat the package of cookies he had bought. Ryeowook made an adorable pout pulling his hands away and Hyukjae could not help but hug him by putting an arm around his shoulders.

  
“Ugh,” he heard Heechul say.

  
“What's wrong?” Inquired Hyukjae.

  
“Don't ask,” suggested Leeteuk shaking his head.

  
“And don't turn around,” Kyuhyun followed, opening his arms for Ryeowook to reach out to hug him. Everyone was sure that they both had _something_ but they would never admit it.

  
Hyukjae pushed the thoughts about his friends and turned his head to look over his shoulder at a couple kissing not far away. He turned his head to the front immediately wrinkling his nose in disgust.

  
“Come,” Heechul approached dangerously. “Let's show them how to do it,” and without warning he brought his face close to his, making Hyukjae throw his head backwards to keep his lips from crashing.

  
“What are you doing!” He exclaimed laughing as Siwon laughed and the others put on a surprised expression, although in truth it didn't surprise them so much being Heechul, after all, he and Leeteuk had gone through situations like this more times than everyone would like to admit. “That is with Teukie hyung, not with me.”

  
“It was for you to teach that _bastard_ what he is loosing.”

  
Hyukjae shrugged with a grimace.

  
That couple had not been anybody, Hyukjae knew it but didn't want to give it too much importance.

  
Inevitably his thoughts flew to that scene, something he had been yearning for many years and that could never come true and how he had given up a few months ago and was sure he had forgotten a couple of weeks ago... or so he wanted to believe.

 

They were _Donghae_ and Dara.

  
His stomach stirred at the thought.

  
Donghae had been his best friend during his freshman year in high school, before he had to move and leave school and their friendship for two years and not only that, but the feelings he had developed for his best friend and-

  
He stopped his thoughts abruptly, not wanting to think about that matter right there.

  
Then Jongwoon passed by, immersed in his own world at the end of the corridor and Hyukjae forgot all that bothered him seconds before.

  
_Maybe he had gotten over it after all._

 


	6. Chapter 6

Every little moment, however simple, for Hyukjae was always _something else_. Whether it was a great trip or a spontaneous moment in the cafeteria with his friends, for he would always have a place in his memory and precisely for that reason it seemed that sometimes he suffered from mental lacunae, there were so many memories he had that he sometimes was forced to do some of them aside and leave them stored in some remote part of his mind. He liked to call it a great skill, sometimes by initiative he decided to forget certain things and only until he himself wanted to remember them, he remembered them. He didn't know how he could do that, simply if there was something unpleasant or painful that he preferred not to have so present, he mentalised and left it behind.

  
Lately, he felt that more memories were missing, he felt in a kind of limbo that was too nice to be true and he knew it was due to his growing relationship with Jongwoon and the memories that were slowly beginning to form. Like every singing lesson, which had gone from being formal to a little more friendly or the times they were in the corridors, despite being nothing too intimate, he made sure to analyse even the smallest detail of that man who called his attention.

  
Right at that moment he was on a bench taking advantage of the free time he had to review some singing things for his exam.

  
“Do not forget that this note is sustained,” Jongwoon recalled. “And I think that with that is more than enough for you to go excellent.”

  
“I don't want to trust myself and end up with a bad note,” Hyukjae replied. “I'm nervous.”

  
“You don't have to be,” the dark haired man tried to assure him by looking straight into his eyes as he had begun to do after the first week of talking. “I have seen that you are good at everything you do.”

  
“Uhm-” he was going to interrupt.

  
“Do not waste air trying to contradict me, it should be a sin to be so modest. I have confirmed that you are good at what you swear to be horrible,” he then turned away, placing his gaze in his hands. “You should see how I'm doing with the dance so that you understand what it is to suck in a discipline.”

  
“You didn't tell me,” said Hyukjae, narrowing his eyes as he focused his eyes more intensely on his tutor, reading his expression and his words. “I can help you.”

  
“Oh no,” he shook his head frantically. “You're too good at that, I'd die of embarrassment if you saw me.”

  
“As if with me it would have been different,” he rolled his eyes.

  
“The difference is that you are good at singing, I'm not at dancing at all.”

  
“It doesn't matter, I'll help you, Woonie hyung,” Jongwoon shot his gaze in his direction, noticing that it was the first time Hyukjae had called him that.

  
“Thanks, but I don't want to disturb you,” he forced himself to hide his reaction and Hyukjae shook his head, bringing his hand close to his.

  
“You would not bother at all,” he assured him and dared to lay his hand on the major's, causing his nerves to reappear.

  
“Are you sure?” He questioned, stirring.

  
“Completely,” he smiled and Jongwoon relaxed visibly.

  
“Okay...” They heard from far away that the bell was ringing, indicating the end of the class and giving way to the few minutes that were granted between classes. “Come on, you'll do great.”

  
Hyukjae nodded trying to convince himself and stood up at the same time that Jongwoon separated his hands and taking his things to cross the campus and reach the halls.

  
“Thank you,” Hyukjae repeated as he had been doing to excess lately. “I'll tell you how it goes.”

  
_“I'll wait.”_

  
***

  
“I got a nine!” Hyukjae exclaimed ecstatically, running towards Jongwoon, who was waiting for him at the bottom of some stairs near Ryeowook and Kyuhyun.

  
“Congratulations!” He exclaimed back, celebrating his victory. “It wasn't that bad, was it?”

  
He would be lying if he said that he didn't feel that way while they were examining him, he feared, once inside the classroom ready to present his exam, that his voice would fail him and all his effort was thrown away along with Jongwoon's classes, and he was afraid to disappoint him. However, when he was told his rating he felt a huge relief, he had not screwed up after all.

  
“It was all thanks to you,” and without thinking, Hyukjae wrapped his arm around the raven haired man's torso wrapping him in an innocent and spontaneous _embrace_. He felt Jongwoon tense slightly at his touch and seconds later, he felt him put his arm around his shoulders as well, _returning_ the gesture.

  
He had noticed, during all the hours they had spent together, that there really had not been so many, and the times they came to speak by message, that Jongwoon was somewhat unexpressive and not because he was one of those people who 'have no feelings' , but because he seemed to be very withdrawn and therefore had difficulty expressing himself with others.

  
He saw from the corner of his eye how his friends shot them a quick, curious, surprised and mysterious look, and he understood that it was due to his demonstration of affection. It had been some time that none of them saw him trying to make friends with anyone other than them, much less had they seen him interested in someone for _something else_.

Not after _Donghae_.

  
But something good must have meant that Jongwoon was reciprocating his affection and interest. This time it seemed to be _different_. It did not seem to be something without an exit or unrequited feelings.

  
It seemed that he could win his affection and, for once, _he thought he could actually have a chance._

 


	7. Chapter 7

It seemed strange to him, how until a few months ago he was tormented by thoughts that probably never made sense and that had only caused him to lock in on himself, absent from the world and only immersed in the known: the school, his family and his friends.

  
There were times when the mere fact of hearing _his_ name made him feel bad or a little depressed, depending on his mood of the day, but something sure was that thinking about him for a long time did him absolutely no good.

  
He used to reprimand himself repeatedly, trying to convince himself that _he_ was not good for him, that _he_ had never really appreciated him and that everything he came to feel was just a product of his imagination, hyperactive and witty. But there were times when he could not make himself believe it, because just when Hyukjae began to mentalise, _he_ returned with actions that seemed to say the opposite.

  
It happened at least six times, that they stopped talking, never because of Hyukjae's fault or decision, and that after a few days or weeks, they started talking again for reasons unknown to both of them, or maybe perfectly knwon by both but that they refused to reveal.

  
This last time, however, it had all been Hyukjae's decision. He was tired of being a second choice, of just waiting until _Donghae_ decided to talk to him, or until he got bored of talking to someone else, or needed something he knew only Hyukjae could give him. The first few times he seemed not to care too much, because the happiness that caused him that the one who was once his best friend, spoke to him, overshadowed everything else. It was until that third time, that he began to doubt whether they really had a future or a minimum chance. The next couple of times he was much less excited, but he still allowed him to approach as always, with sweetened words and empty promises. It was not until the next school term began that he really convinced himself to leave it behind. And he thanked God for having done it just when he did, because a few days later he noticed the existence of Jongwoon, that human being, so perfect before his eyes. And then he could not help but thank Donghae for rejecting him, because if he had not, _he would not have met Jongwoon._

  
“Do not forget to send your part of the project,” Kyuhyun said in a firm voice and Hyukjae turned around looking for the person he was addressing.

  
“Do you doubt me?” That was undoubtedly Donghae's voice and Hyukjae rolled his eyes.

  
“Well...” Kyuhyun whispered making a disgusted face, clearly answering his question.

  
It was no secret that Ryeowook and Kyuhyun talked to Donghae, not because they liked the idea, but because they went to the same class and it was inevitable to exchange words. Hyukjae had nothing against that, as long as Donghae didn't come too close looking to talk to them; his friends respected their situation too much, preventing contact between them two.

  
“Don't listen to him,” whispered Siwon, patting him on the back.

  
“I got over it,” he whispered back and Siwon shot him a look that he could interpret as a 'tell me' after so many years of being friends. Hyukjae took him by the hand and quietly pulled him away from the people to start walking alone. “I'm interested in someone else.”

  
“Well, that's what I already realised,” Siwon replied. “Your attitude changes noticeably when you're interested in someone.”

  
“Yeah... Well,” he whispered. “I like Jongwoon.”

  
“What?” His best friend exclaimed.

  
“What you heard, shut uuup,” he asked panicking by dragging the 'u', fearing someone would listen.

  
“How? Why? How did-” he was interrupted when Hyukjae put a hand in his mouth.

  
“Calm down.” He asked. “I only saw him and he caught my attention, that's why I asked for help in singing.”

  
“And have you told him already?”

  
“Of course not, it's not been that much since we started talking, but I certainly begin to know him better and I'm sure I like him.”

  
“Does anyone else know?” Hyukjae denied frantically. “Wow, what an honor.” Siwon smiled.

  
“Do not say anything to anyone,” the elder pleaded. “I want everything to go well this time and that never happens when people know. Everything gets spoiled.”

  
“It's okay," Siwon raised his hands as if surrendering. “I will not say anything. But you know you could ask Ryeowook for help or something, right? I think I've seen them talking a lot.”

  
“Of course they do, they are in the same class,” he replied and suddenly went blank. If Jongwoon attended the same class as his younger friends, it meant that he attended the same as Donghae. “With Donghae...” he whispered to himself.

  
“Oh,” Siwon whispered in response.

  
“I hope no one says anything so Jongwoon doesn't hear about him. That class is in itself, already quite _complicated_.”

  
“The living room of all your ex's,” Siwon laughed, receiving a blow from Hyukjae.

  
“Shut up, it's not true,” he frowned, though he was right, apart from Donghae, there were a couple of people there who had liked him in past years. “I hope nobody says anything.”

  
“You could ask Ryeowook,” Siwon shrugged.

  
“Are you crazy?” He questioned. The first year of university Ryeowook also liked him, nothing serious, he never said anything and Hyukjae pretended not to ever know, although due to gossip and partners who like to bother, he had found out. Now he was grateful that Kyuhyun had arrived a semester later to make Ryeowook forget about him. It was true that Hyukjae never wanted to hurt him, quite the contrary and despite that, he always treated him with all the affection of the world as a friend and now Ryeowook had forgotten about him and was happy liking Kyuhyun, something that he had not admitted but that everyone knew.

  
“It was just a suggestion.”

  
Hyukjae shook his head in disapproval at the suggestion and turned his head to find Jongwoon walking towards his locker.

  
“Hey,” he called Siwon, tapping him lightly on the arm to get his attention. “I'm leaving, do not forget to say absolutely NOTHING about what I told you.”

  
Siwon made a military sign and watched him walk away from him to get to where the raven haired was.

  
“Hi Jae,” Jongwoon greeted with a smile.

  
“Hi hyung,” he replied clearly happy.

  
“What are you doing here?”

  
“I just came to say hello, I like to talk to you,” he confessed directly and Jongwoon stirred.

  
“Uhm, thanks,” he murmured. “I also like talking to you.”

  
“Do you have any class?”

  
“No, my period is over for today.”

  
_Perfect_.

  
“Mine too, would you like to hang out with me?”

  
Jongwoon didn't respond with words but with a slight nod, and Hyukjae understood that he was saying 'yes' gladly.

 


	8. Chapter 8

They walked down the campus in silence. Jongwoon was the kind of person who preferred not to talk on his own initiative and although Hyukjae was the opposite, he had decided to keep silent during their walk, to be able to enjoy Jongwoon's company. He felt an atmosphere that maybe for someone else would have been uncomfortable, even for him at any other time; being an hyperactive and talkative person, a silent environment wouldn't suit him. Definitely, it wasn't his style. But his interest in Jongwoon was genuine, and he knew that in order to get to understand him, he had to know him first and the way to do it was paying attention to him.

  
They finally arrived to some stairs, almost completely deserted, except for some students a few meters away. It was one of the days when almost all the students left school early and it was not their exception, but if he could take advantage of that moment to talk with Jongwoon, he would not run, as he does every day, to his house looking to get some rest.

  
They took a seat next to each other, keeping a respectable distance that Hyukjae didn't want to break, despite being usually less reserved.

  
“How are you going with the exams?” To his surprise, Jongwoon was actually the first to speak.

  
“Pretty good,” he nodded. “The only thing that got me on my nerves was singing, but thanks to you I managed to get a better rating than in the past.”

  
“It was all your doing,” the elder said before Hyukjae could begin to thank. “Do not say otherwise.”

  
“How could I not do it?” He questioned. “It was only possible thanks to you.”

  
“You just needed a little guidance,” he admitted. “But the talent is yours.”

  
Hyukjae couldn't help but blush at the comment and tried desperately to hide it by changing the direction of the conversation a little to prevent Jongwoon from focusing his attention on him.

  
“What made you study music?” He asked, quite interested. “Well, this profession,” he corrected himself, because music was not the only thing they studied, but a mixture of various arts.

  
Jongwoon didn't respond immediately, he took, instead, a moment that could have spanned from a couple of seconds to several minutes, Hyukjae didn't know, because the time seemed not to pass properly and if it did, it didn't matter, because he was grateful to share it for that occasion with Jongwoon.

  
“Well, I've always liked music a lot, I think it's a very interesting and complex way of communicating, and it's easy for me to sing and act, so I didn't think it was a bad idea to try to dedicate myself to this, anyway I have a whole life ahead to do and explore more things.” Hyukjae parted his lips unconsciously, as if gawking at his words and only closed them when Jongwoon kept talking. “There are things like dance and rap that are not natural to me, but they are part of the process and I am pleased to make an effort to maintain a certain level, even though it is clearly not one of the best.”

  
“Oh, that's great,” Hyukjae forced himself to say. “I mean, the fact that you don't give up even though you know clearly that there are things that don't go as well as in others. Although, I must admit, it seems impossible to think that you are not good at something.”

  
Jongwoon shook his head with a reluctant smile.

  
“It's pretty credible, actually,” he contradicted. “If something of that goes well to me, it's more from effort than talent.”

  
“But your voice is great,” he flattered. “And nobody will take that from you.”

  
Hyukjae saw how a shy smile illuminated Jongwoon's features making him look more attractive. His profile was, without a doubt, a sight that was worth it.

  
He noticed then that he seemed to be very different from him, from how little he knew him, he could see that they didn't agree on many things. And that was what seemed special to him. His attraction to Jongwoon was precisely that: _what they didn't have in common._

  
“Thanks...” Jongwoon whispered in a tone that Hyukjae could not decipher.

  
The silence returned for a few seconds, in which Hyukjae wondered if it would be prudent to dig a little deeper into his personal life. He decided after a thousandth of a second that it was worth asking, after all he was Hyukjae, being reckless was part of his nature.

  
“Why did you move?” Jongwoon shot him a confused look, clearly taken aback. “You told me you came from Cheonan.”

  
“Oh, partly because of my parents' work,” he replied. “But mostly because I wanted to enter this school.”

  
Hyukjae nodded and asked, “Were you born there?”

  
“No, I was born here but my parents moved to Cheonan as soon as they considered me fit to travel.”

  
“So you practically haven't lived here,” the blonde said.

  
“Well, no,” he shrugged. “What about you?”

  
“I am from Gyeonggi-do. I lived there until I entered highschool, that's when I came directly to study here to have a place in the university.”

  
“So you have been in this school since high school?”

  
“I was here only the first year and I had to go to another school because my family could not continue paying the rent of the house in which we lived and the next one that we got was quite far, so I studied the last two years in another place,” he said without hesitating too much, he felt that he had nothing to hide from Jongwoon and he knew that in order to know him, he had to make himself known too.

  
“Oh and then you came back,” Jongwoon said but Hyukjae nodded as if answering a question.

  
“That's right,” he paused before casting his next question. “And... are you dating someone?”

  
Jongwoon opened his eyes at the question.

  
“Mmm... no.” He denied it.

  
“I thought I had seen you on some occasion with a girl,” he brought to mind the image of Jongwoon embracing a woman through the window of the music room.

  
“Well,” he hesitated. “In that case, I suppose you could consider her a former partner.”

  
“Was she your girlfriend?” The question escaped his lips before his conscience could register it and he mentally hit himself for his imprudence.

  
“No,” he answered. “You see, when I came to this school this cycle, I was alone because I was the new guy and she was the first one to approach and talk to me, she made it easier for me during the first days and with a little time she began to get closer to me, until she told me that she liked me. So it can be said that we were together, but nothing official.”

  
“She seems to be very nice,” Hyukjae admitted a little against his will, but telling the truth, he had interacted with that girl just a little during rehearsals and could tell that she seemed to be very sweet.

  
“That's what it seems,” he agreed. “But believe me, once you know her, she's not.”

  
“Huh?”

  
“Only, it's not as tender as she looks,” he explained poorly and Hyukjae decided not to dig deeper into the subject.

  
“I'm sorry,” he said to finish. “But if for some reason she didn't appreciate your value, I'm sure it's because she lacks neurons that make her think. You are a very charismatic guy.”

  
Jongwoon turned his face to avoid meeting Hyukjae's eyes, for Hyukjae knew he had managed to make him nervous and smiled triumphantly when he noticed a touch of pink on the black haired man's cheeks.

  
“Thank you, Hyukjae,” he barely murmured. “But in this aspect of life, I'm afraid I have no luck.”

  
“I doubt it, there must be someone who dies for you.”

  
_I am that someone._

  
“I don't know...”

  
“You just have to wait for it.”

  
_And I promise it will be worth it._

 


	9. Chapter 9

Should he feel ridiculous for walking around begging for attention? Probably yes, but Hyukjae didn't seem to mind at all. After all, he was happy, happy as he had not felt in a long time. He had never ceased to be happy, just to clarify, but having added a love interest to his day-to-day life complemented him and burned his happiness in a different way.

  
His phone vibrated with a notification and he smiled to himself. It couldn't be called a 'beggar' if the other end corresponded, to some extent, his interest, right?

  
“Hi, Jae,” he read on the screen and his smile grew wider. Since a few days ago, Hyukjae didn't have to worry so much about being the first one to send a message, because Jongwoon had also started looking for him.

  
“Hellooo,” he wrote, by dragging the 'o' looking to sound animated, showing how nice he felt to be talking to him.

  
“Hey, do you think you can help me with some dancing?”

  
Hyukjae's smile widened to the point of resembling the Cheshire cat and he couldn't help but get excited. It was a motive for celebration that Jongwoon looked for his advice, considering him fit to help him with something important and what he had previously admitted, something that was not good.

  
“Of course!” He answered, of course he would take advantage of every moment that was presented to him, even if it was for talking about a boring school project all afternoon. “When?”

  
“Wednesday?” Jongwoon asked. “Or whenever you can, I really don't want to bother.”

  
“Wednesday is perfect,” he ignored the second message that had sounded more like an apology. “What do you need exactly?”

  
“Well...” he read the message waiting for a second to come, as the 'writing' had not disappeared from the screen. “They put a new choreography a bit complicated for me, of course it would not be for you at all, and the instructor asked me to pay special attention. I guess he knows how much it costs me and he needs it to go well. I wouldn't want to mess it up, do you think you could help me?”

  
“You know I will, hyung,” Hyukjae replied, thinking of how he would do to help him. “Tomorrow, at what time do you have class?”

  
“9:30.”

  
Hyukjae remembered, after theatre class, he had a free class, which meant he could sneak into Jongwoon's class to at least get a look at the choreography.

  
“I'll be there."

  
***

  
Hyukjae ran off, almost stumbling on his own feet, in the direction of the classroom where he expected Jongwoon to be. Heechul, who was about to go out with him, didn't bother too much about this, he knew very well that Hyukjae had a new love interest and that this was called _Jongwoon_.

  
He stopped abruptly when the threshold of the door was close, braking as he put his hands to avoid crashing into the wall due to the acceleration that was carrying. He took a deep breath, regaining his composure and adjusting the backpack correctly on his shoulder. It was then when he noticed the look of some students of the class in him, clearly curious.

  
“What do you need, Mr. Lee?” He turned his head towards the voice that he could only recognised as the teacher's and smiled innocently.

  
“I'm here to see if you allow me to enter your class,” he requested without hesitation, apparently without a hint of grief.

  
“And why would I do that?” The instructor questioned.

  
“Because you know I will not cause problems,” he explained, moving uncomfortably, he had begun to feel the strength of eyes on him, but it was not the crowd that bothered him, but a specific gaze that, despite having overcome him, was still distinguishing to him perfectly. He then took the opportunity to reveal the real reason why he was there. “I came to see Jongwoon, to help him.”

  
He shot a quick glance at Donghae, who had opened his eyes slightly in disbelief at what he had heard, but remained impartial as he usually did. If there was something that characterized him, it was definitely his illegible expression.

  
“Oh, Mr. Kim,” the teacher spoke to Jongwoon this time. “Your tutor arrived.”

  
Jongwoon nodded shyly and approached slowly to Hyukjae as he had wanted to do since he saw him arrive to the room agitated.

  
“Hello,” he murmured timidly.

  
“Do not mess up, Hyukjae,” the teacher warned before turning and walking away.

  
“How could this piece of heaven do such a thing?” Kyuhyun mocked in the distance.

  
“Shut up, Cho,” Hyukjae replied in the same funny tone. “You're unpleasant.”

  
“Are you sure you don't have any class or something else to do?” Jongwoon asked worriedly.

  
“Completely,” he smiled at him. “Do not worry about that, I told you I would help you, right?”

  
The black haired nodded and Hyukjae hugged him lightly, barely putting his arm around his side, a gesture that Jongwoon responded with less hesitation than the first time.

  
“Come on!,” He cheered and applauded a couple of times excited, there couldn't be a more perfect occasion than that, help Jongwoon doing what he liked best in the world: dance. “Let's see what you have.”

  
He couldn't sneak into the choreography as he would have liked, but he could stay behind paying attention to the steps executed by the teacher and marking them very lightly to keep them in his memory, always adding a bit of his 'style', because if there was something that distinguish him, it was his ability to make every movement natural, making them seem as a part of himself.

  
From time to time he would glance at the students, discreetly analysing their abilities and seeing who did it best in his opinion. The latter could never reveal it to anyone, because despite not thinking about _him_ in an even remotely loving way as before, for him, Donghae was the one who did it best and many knew it. They used to be part of those who excelled in this discipline, it was something they had in common.

  
“All right, take the rest of the class to practice,” the teacher said and immediately Jongwoon ran towards Hyukjae.

  
“I think you've already noticed that I'm not good,” he spoke with a hint of pain in his voice.

  
And Hyukjae had indeed noticed that it was difficult to him, nothing too serious, it seemed rather that Jongwoon was too systematic and closed in his movements, he didn't let them flow naturally and from there his problem was born.

  
“Come on, it's not that bad,” he tried to cheer him up, seeing the good side of things. “I think you torment yourself a lot and that prevents you from being free, you must let go more, be more spontaneous. That will make a difference.”

  
Jongwoon watched him cocking his head to the side, curious, giving himself the appearance of a lost puppy.

  
“Look,” he took him by the hand and pulled him a little to get away from the wall on which he was leaning. “Let's repeat the steps at the same time, don't think about anything else, if only in the sequence. But take everything out of your mind, focus only on enjoying as you do when you sing. Do you think you can do that?” Jongwoon nodded. “Perfect, then from the start. Five six seven eight...”

  
Hyukjae hummed the melody of the song as he began to execute the steps, Jongwoon imitated him, trying not to torment himself with coordination and just dancing. Little by little the younger stopped dancing, until he left Jongwoon doing it alone.

  
“Excellent,” he encouraged. “Tougher, more defined.”

  
Jongwoon made sure to follow all the comments that Hyukjae made, knowing that they would be recorded in his memory, which would facilitate his presentations in future classes. Hyukjae on the other hand admired. _Just like that_. He was so different from everything he had liked before that he had problems believing it. He found himself enjoying it, enjoying the essence of Jongwoon, more timid, more withdrawn, a little more clumsy, more systematic, less free, less abstract... so different from his own _and yet so equal._

 


End file.
